Crunch Time

It's getting down to the end of the school year and everyone is freaking out. It's Sunday and I get to head home Thursday pretty early so I just need to get through these last few days. It's going to be really crappy

What do I want?

I don't know what I thought would change by telling you that I've liked you, but I know it wasn't nothing. I wanted something different. I feel like we talk even less now; maybe that's what changed. It's getting harder and harder to be around you, because I know that when we do spend time together it means nothing to you. You say I'm a good friend, but outside of class we talk via texts. We've me outside of class once. It seems like I'm blowing this out of proportion, but I really do like you a lot. I'm sure he's got things that I don't have and you obviously connect, but I don't see how. When you broke up you made him seem like a pretty unchangeable asshole. And now you're dating him.

So Much to Say, No Time

There is no way that I will ever be able to tell her exactly how I feel, and I don't think I'll ever try. I know I feel like it would be different with me, but I don't know him and why it didn't work out the first time, or why you're trying a second time. I've laid out what you need to know, and now that you know it, nothings changed. I'm not asking for anything to change because that would be selfish. Whenever we talk, I feel like I'm bothering you. I wish we could spend more time together. I would give up all my free time to waste it with you, but you'll never know that.

I don't know why I still keep this thing

I find myself at the trough of depression again. This happens a lot, but it still sucks when it does. It's all sorts of stuff that brings me down: grades, girls, mainly girls. I have no idea why, but for some reason I just can't be happy alone. I've been trying like crazy to find someone, and everyone says it'll happen when I stop looking. I can't stop looking! I'm constantly subconsciously analyzing almost every girl I meet. It really bothers me seeing other people in a relationship together, because don't have that. There's almost no one close to me that I can connect with. Also, whenever I try and get close to a girl, she declares us good friends. I'm getting really tired of having exclusively male friends. I love my friends, but I don't have any friends that are girls.

Friends

A friend is dating a dick. It sucks! What do you do? Tell them about it. That's all you've got. No matter how good of friends you are, they'll side with their phallic significant other. It doesn't matter what you say, because your friendship is more important than a final stand, a me or them deal. There's no way you can tell them that you won't be friends anymore if they keep dating that person, that would just show them how unimportantly serious you are. So you tell them all the reasons that person sucks, and they won't believe half of it. The half they do believe, they'll defend. It's like talking to a brick wall; you're going to get nowhere. So they go o dating this penis and when they're not so hurt they question the relationship, it's the best it's ever been. And the whole time you want to tell your friend that they should dump this guy, it's only because you think you could fill the spot ten times better...

The Age of Competition

My roommate is a punk bitch, and therefore tries to catch me off-gaurd with competitions throughout the semester. The first one was a beard growing challenge, lasting as long as it took for all but one of us to shave. Next came the vegetarian challenge, for a week. I won. It's because I rule. Also, I thrive on competition. I'm the worst loser I know, and that transcends to all things I do. Games, girls, you name it. The beard competition is still on, even though he shaved today. Now if I could just get this last guy to shave, I'm 2 and 0!

Lonely Day Again

I can't begin to explain how long I've been lonely. All of my friends are either in relationships or have no want for a relationship and hook up all the time. I don't hook up, I just never have, the reason being it's never come up. I don't really have anyone to confide in. There's just some stuff you can't tell your roommate and friends. I'm tired of not having anyone to live to see, or be with. I don't do anything fun, nothing really makes me happy, and partying isn't my thing. All of my close friends are telling me that someone will come along, it's worth the wait, and to not just settle. I'm getting really tired of waiting and not getting any less depressed.

My bum-bum

I'm really trying to make an effort to blog when I am in computers class, and I blanked on a topic today, so Bliss said to write about my butt. So, here goes: I have a butt. I don't have a name for it or anything cute, but it provides fabulous absorption from trauma to my rear. Sitting is WAY easier because of it, and I feel like if I didn't have it, I'd look ridiculous.

Totally forgot.

HUGE DEAL. Metallica got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. This pleases me. Go watch Fleas speech, its pretty good. And check out James' Explorer; wicked. And Kirks' ESP. Also wicked.

Whoops...

I just realized that the assignment that I did for class was wrong, but it can be easily fixed! I just have to write a bunch about a topic that I feel passionate about. So what better topic then myself? It seems concieted, yes, but it's the one and only thing I can safely say I know anything about. So, here goes: I really don't like this assignment! It's not because it's an assignment that I have to do, I just don't like the idea of anybody, friend or foe, seeing this. I did have a myspace and facebook at one time, but they lost their luster and became boring, along with the added possibility of getting kicked out of school, losing a job or friend, and creating WAY more drama then I want to deal with ever. I think it's creepy that if you type in my name on google, pictures of me come up, awards I've won come up, and my a few of my family members names are accessible. Even my email address comes up! anybody with my name can contact me with whatever they want. It's scary! Internet Predators could find me and steal my life or identity! This assignment is a ploy to publicly display a whole class!

BORED!

Nothing new in the life of Bill. Classes are going. Have to pick new ones tonight so I can show the list to my advisor. I have no idea what I want to do in life, but my declared major is communications. I know how to communicate! I have no problem communicating! And I don't know if I want to do that for the rest of my life/career. I knid of just want to do nothing for the rest of my life...

Yay.

This is my first blog posting. To be completely honest, I'll probably never use this again. I don't like the idea of being on display like some animal in a cage, but with text.